First blog

really....don't know what actually drove me to do this- to blog. I guess i just suddenly had the feeling of wanting to pour out my heart somewhere...and not the somewhere like writing on a piece of paper and being found by my family members. I had a thought- why do we live in this world? why do we strive for something? what is the purpose? what is the reason for living? we work, sleep, eat, laugh, have fun, then die? so where lies the purpose of my existence? Sometimes when i face troubles, have worries, i still have to put on a smiling face, be enthusiatic. It's as if i'm not myself anymore-fake. I socialise with poeple, but what are we thinking about each other? cursing under all the smiling faces? Fake world....all is so unreal...even myself. Don't think i know myself sometimes. How many me is there inside? Maybe i'm just tired of life? Forgive me God..but why did God make me? sigh....hope i will be over this 'down' feeling soon....