World of ma Own

Stressed...really stressed

2009-09-29T19:42:00.004+08:00

Believe it or not....I am now in semester 7. It has been such a long time since i ever felt such overwhelming stress....all the assignments, research and the exams that are coming up.....all to be dued next week.....in fact, i think this is of the worst that i'd ever experienced before. Really cannot be described by words. All the stresses before that i complaint of was just small flies compared to this. Dont know where to start, blaming myself for the procrastination...just so overwhelmed, burdened and feel like crying and dying straight on the spot *sigh* Not really good to restart my blog in this way, especially when i have not blogged for such a long time...but...I do pray with my whole heart, mind and soul....God, this is the time that i really need your love and grace...please guide me through this hardship and make your power perfect in my weakness. For with man it is impossibe, but with you Lord, everything is made possible through you...Amen.

Sem 4

2008-03-11T13:08:00.003+08:00

Times sure flies, here i am again blogging. i honestly think that i've lost the touch to writing down my encounters or feelings in words. Where do i start...oh well, sem 4 is another busy semester. tests are coming up next week and like always (bad habit), i haven't started revising yet. my today becomes tomorrrow and tomorrow delays to another tomorrow....this goes on until the very wee hours of the day of the exam where i will say 'arrgghhh...why didn't i start earlier'....everytime it's this repetitive process but i've never really gotten myself to learn or change from the lessons...i'm a bad sort...*sigh* i never can make the time to study, even if i can, i'll probably feel like doing something else for the moment....'adui'....hopeless me....

Happy New Year 2008

2008-01-03T09:01:00.000+08:00

One year has goneby, new year has come....have i been having a meaningful year? What are my dreams and hopes for this year? two and a half more years before i complete my degree course....after that...what? future plans? hmm......hmm......anyways...let's just enjoy my holidays at home first =p Happy New Year =) May it be a good year this year.

busy busy

2007-07-30T12:18:00.000+08:00

wah....my sem 3 is a torture. will be having exams already on the third week of my semester (next week). i dont get some lectures, have to pull up my socks (easily said but not done). in fact, will be having exams for almost every week after that. not really stressed yet but i hope i will be able to cope. lots that needs to be studied and i dont want to fail anything. anyways, as i always say, life is not just about studies. i'm going to do an idian dance with few nursing friends for merdeka celebration in imu on 27th aug. looking forward to it. will start practice next week. other than that, i plan to join chinese musical class too, learn how to play flute =) plus, will need to exercise, i'm getting too fat for my own good *laughs* i know there's lots on academic already, time management will be important and self-discipline too. i especially need to overcome my laziness *grins* need to cut down on my sleep definitely. lots of huge challenges for me. alright, will have a class soon. till the next blog =) chiao~~

end of holidays soon...

2007-07-19T12:22:00.000+08:00

got my sem 3 schedule and module guides....the only thing that i can say is that it will be a tough sem....God please guide me T.T

BF

2007-07-03T01:05:00.000+08:00

guess what =) i'm officially announcing that i have a bf already, though i've only told a few close friends...good luck to me....

End of year 1

2007-06-21T22:48:00.000+08:00

wow...i'm actually done with year one of my course. Time sure passes in a blink of an eye. Feels so nice to sit at home and have my holidays. What a bliss. My current plan is to sleep, eat, play....well, maybe somewhere in between i might squeeze in my studies...but i'll think about it *grins*. As for my sem 2 results, i managed to pass, though i nearly didn't =p anyways, the point is that i passed, and that's what's important. It has been quite some time since i last blogged and the lack of doing it (blogging) has made me bad at expressing myself. Please do excuse me for not being able to bring forward anything interesting if any =) hm....i actually don't know what to blog about....alright, that's all for the time being...hope the next blog wont be long....

about me

2007-05-02T17:43:00.000+08:00

well, read this in friendster which i think is interesting and somehow felt compelled to answer(maybe i'm just too bored), but since too many people might be reading it there if i posted it as a bulletin so i did it here instead, haha.....well, here goes =)

WHO R U? The longest survey you'll ever fill out! Do the world a favor: fill it out and post it for all your friends.. Do this because the person who did this didn't sit here for ages for nothing. Answer all the questions honestly, no lying to avoid stuff

Single or Taken:
~ Single

Happy about that:
~ Being single? For the time being, yeah i guess....

Siblings:
~ elder bro, elder sis and a lil' bro

Eye color:
~ Brown

Shoe size:
~ Around 6 or 7 i think....

Height:
~ Around 162cm e....

What are you wearing right now:
~ T-shirt & shorts

Best place to go for a date:
~ Any place would be lovely if i'm going out with the person i like...haha...well, given that it's not some place like a rubbish dump or something...but i doubt if anyone would go to such places for their dates....lolz

FAVORITES
Kind of pants:
~ Jeans, i guess...but hard to wash =.= i think as long as it's comfortable then it's ok...

Animal:
~ No particular animal that i especially like

Drink:
~ Any nice drinks

Sport:
~ Dont think i'm into sports....

Month:
~ Never gave a thought to that, but maybe the month(s) when i'm having my holidays..lolz XD

Juice:
~ Any nice juice? hahazz....i'm not that picky

Favorite cartoon character:
~ Once again, i'm not sure...i'm bad at picking favourites cause i like them all....=)

_________________

Have You Ever. . .

Given anyone a bath?
~ Yup

Bungee Jumped?
~ No and dont think i will involve myself in such a dangerous sport >.<

Made yourself throw-up?
~ Definitely not

Gone skinny dipping?
~ Nope

Eaten a dog?
~ Eww....no.....yuck....

Loved someone so much it made you cry?
~ Yup...hehe....God =p

Broken a bone?
~ No but i've twisted my ankle before

Played truth or dare?
~ Nope

Been in a sauna?
~ Nope

Been in a hot tub?
~ Nope

Swam in the ocean?
~ As a kid, yeah...hm, maybe not swimming, just frolicking....

Fallen asleep in school?
~ Haha, so many times but not during lessons

Ran away?
~ Thought of it before as a kid but never the actions

Broken someone's heart?
~ Shamefully, i did

Cried when someone died?
~ Yup, still feel sad to recall

Cried in school?
~ I dont think so, well, i dont remember such an incident but anyone is welcomed to remind me

Fell off your chair?
~ Yup, and it was very embarrassing

Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call?
~ Nope

Saved IM conversations?
~ Yup

Saved e-mails?
~ Yup

Made out with JUST a friend?
~ =.=

Used someone?
~ I think i never, but dont know if anyone felt that way about me before...i hope not....

____________________________

What is
Your good luck charm?
~ My cross and i like four-leaved-clovers

New fav. song?
~ Favourites again? Haha, can't choose....

Last thing you ate?
~ Homecooked food by my mom, yummy~~

What kind of shampoo/conditioner do you use?
~ Sunsilk

Ever Had. . .
Chicken pox:
~ Mom said i did when i were a kid

Sore Throat:
~ Yup

Broken nose:
~ Not sure but i dont think so...

A boy/girl Falling For You so Badly:
~ Hm....hard question, not for me to answer (should ask the one falling to answer this, haha), i dont know how deep one can fall.....=p

_________________________

Do You
Believe in love at first sight?
~ Maybe...first impression counts, but it will be affected by so many other factors....*shrugs*

Long distance relationship?
~ It's possible but might be hard.....no one can really tell what lies in the future...

Like school?
~ Yup, it's a nice place in its own way

Who was the last person that called you?
~ My niece (cousin's daughter)

Who was the last person you slow danced with?
~ Never

Who makes you smile the most?
~ Hard to say, i'm easily entertained =) and i like smiling

Who knows you the best?
~ He who created me

___________________________

Do you like filling these out:
~ Yup, it's fun

Do you like yourself:
~ Most of the time i do

Do you get along with your family?
~ Yup

___________________________

Are You
Obsessive Compulsive?
~ Maybe, i'm not sure either

Suicidal?
~ i once was (hehe) but only the thought....

Final Questions:
Do you even believe in love?
~ Yup

Hated someone in your family?
~ Nope

Gotten any awards?
~ Yup, hehe

What car/truck do you wish to have?
~ Never thought of that

Where do you want to get married?
~ Never thought of that either

Good driver?
~ I pass =)

Good Singer?
~ Still bearable, lolz

Yay, at last i've answered everything....well, hope it helps in knowing me more...lolz, though i didn't really do it for that purpose....it was fun anyways....and i swear that i answered everything thruthfully....so well, that's me...hahazz....can always just ask me if you have any other questions =)

my sem 2

2007-03-30T15:12:00.000+08:00

Yup, exams are over at last. What a relief. time sure flies by, in no time at all, i've finished the theory part of sem 2 and will be going for my two months clinicals next week. I'll be applying what i've been learning for this and last sem in the hospitals. Hope that i'll be able to do better this time round. as for what i've learnt this sem...basic medical sciences II, microbiology, pharmacology, health assessment and communicable diseases. It's like nurses have to know at least a little about everything and anything....i learnt about reproduction system etc. and about sexually transmitted diseases which can spread through all types of sexual practices, etc. and always practice safe sex, condom. Like what my lecturer says "who knows where the mouth goes and etc...." and i was like =.= and O.o what the heck?!!?? and even had classes on how to use condoms. the lecturer says that so that we can teach our patients next time....see, the things that i or more accurately, nurses have to learn...sigh....anyways, talking about nurses reminds me of a friend of mine. He told me that i am his first friend to take up nursing. He complained that i ruined his or practically every boy's dream. Why? Cause he said that all boys had dreams that nurses are all pretty and gentle and nice and etc. and wouldn't mind going to the hospital and stuff...but now that me, his friend, has taken up nursing, he was like...what? and he says that i'm definitely not for nursing as i'm fat, flat and like a barrel. lolz. ugly some more, not to mention about my behaviors and characteristics. yup, so that's how it is. I told him that he had been dreaming too much and that it is my job to bring him back to reality....lolz...anyways, he told me that he'd like to whack me and throw me to some graveyard in foochow (his language is really =.=) okies, enough blogging, i need to go back and do some packing for my clinicals.....>.< haven't started to pack yet....i'm always so late minute....

a test i did on 'just between friends'

2007-03-23T18:10:00.000+08:00

here are the results:

Supportive Sidekick

You know who we're talking about — the champion consoler, the person you can always count on, the person who knows how to clean up even after the biggest emotional superspill of your life. This friend gives you a one-on-one rush like no other. This confidante for all seasons can probably even read your mind just a little. Or don't you remember the last time they finished a sentence for you?Lucky for you, your supportive sidekick can probably guess what your next dreams will be before you even do. It must be nice to know you have a tireless supporter and coach in your midst, someone you can tell anything to who always has your best interests in mind and a smile to cheer you up. How sweet!

Yup, i agree...very much so....lolz

test is over

2007-03-23T16:12:00.000+08:00

friday at last, what a relief. although i'll probably fail most of it but i guess no use crying over split milk (as my mom always says) *shrugs*. I'll just have to work harder next time and by the will of God, may i excel in my studies. Anyways, the nigerian guy kept calling last night and even sent me strange sms telling me things like he loves me etc. Yuck right? Definitely yucky. Ain't my life 'interesting'? Oh well, something to learn from i guess. Boy am i glad that these kinds of things don't come around everyday....

nigerian guy

2007-03-22T11:06:00.000+08:00

hmm....i'm still ignoring him and he is still calling and messaging me. Through sms, he asked me to come down to the poolside or go to his place. He even assured me that he would not "make love to me". yah right, as if i'm going to take any notice of him. I just hope i dont meet him. It has been nerve wrecking to walk back from the uni, i have to be constantly on the lookout, scraed that i would run into him, then that would be so so so very unlucky.....

how bad can my life get?

2007-03-21T11:46:00.000+08:00

buzzzz.....my head is really spining and throbbing like hell. First of all are my exams, that is the main stressor in itself. Then, my dad had to undergo an eye sugery (monday) - more worries and concern (he's okay now, resting - thank God). And as if all that is not enough, i had to have this strange encounter with a Nigerian guy. Well, it's something like this - monday night, i had to attend some society meeting. My housemate didn't want to go, so fine, i went with some other friends ( not staying in the same area as me). So when it all ended around 8 something, i had to go back alone. On the way back, since i would be passing by a minimarket, i went in to buy bread for the second day. While i was there, there was also this Nigerian guy buying something else. He started smiling at me so i thought 'what the heck?' and smiled back as i thought it impolite to not smile back when people smile at you - and man, was that the biggest mistake i've ever made for the year. He happened to live in the same block and so we took the same path to the lifts. He started talking to me, so fine, i gave short replies. When we got to the lifts, he started asking me for my number. Trust me, i didn't want to give my number at all, especially to a stranger. But he kept pestering me and stood closer and closer to me. There was no one there and i was practically sandwiched between the wall and him. He was so close till our shoulders touched. So having no choice, i had to give him my number. He even called on the spot to checked if it was the right number (he glanced at my handphone to make sure his number was on the screen). So then we went into the lift, at his level, before he went off, he even pat/touched my shoulder and said that he'll call me. I was totally freaked out and scared. Good thing nothing too serious happened. I was so alarmed that i had to talk to someone. I didn't know what to do. One of my housemate was asleep and the other was not back yet. First thing i thought about was to talk to my friend. Good thing i have a good friend to talk to (handphone). It did help and calmed me down a bit but i was in shock. I tried calling my sis but as usual =.= she slept early and when she is asleep she turns off her phone. And my mom was not around. That night i was totally disorientated and couldn't concentrate on my studies at all. I keep dropping things, my heart beated like more than hundred times per minute and my chest felt tight. It was a horrible experience. These few days he called and sms me but i ignored him. I did sent him two sms to tell him to stop contacting me, after that, i totally ignored him. He keep calling (didn't answer) and sending sms saying things like - asking where am i, he wants to see my smiling face again, not to ignore him, and even to the extent of asking me to his place O.o gosh, it's freaky alright. I told my friends about it. They were concerned. It put them on alert too. By the way, i feel better about it now. I'll be ignoring him completely and hope that he'll get bored of it soon. Anyways, as expected the paper for the second day - i think i flunked it. My mind was totally blank. That morning also, our prof. gave us a scolding about our conduct, not being professional etc etc etc *sigh* i really have no comment for things happening to me anymore. Oh ya, and i already told my mom about the Nigerian guy incident. She's shocked and told me off for not being careful enough and for being too naive...etc etc etc...well, i've learnt my lesson. Hopefully nothing else goes wrong....have class in fifteen minutes time...gotta go...

wireless in uni (yeah) & more depression (no yeah)

2007-03-16T17:20:00.000+08:00

yeah~~i can now actually use my laptop to online with my uni's wireless service (as i'm doing now). That makes lots of things easier for me, for one thing, i can use msn. lolz. Anyways, things are getting more and more hectic and stressful for me. Exams are just around the corner (next week), after that, week 2 will be my trial OSCE, and after that, the following week (week 3) i'll be starting my clinicals. That'll last for two whole months, and in those 2 months, on top of all the revising, i'll also be having clinical assessments and assignments (was totally stressed-out when my lecturer brief us on our assessments). After my clinicals, i'll only be having a short study week before my end of semester exams with the real OSCE (and it's not spaced out). I'm as good as dead after all these. My head keeps throbbing and throbbing....sometimes, i feel like screaming and sometimes i feel like crying.....seriously, i'm on the brink of going insane...nuts, mad, cracked, and soon, i'll be over the edge..falling and falling and falling till i "pulp" hit the bottom then i'm no more....see.....i am already not in my right mind.....>.< yup, now i'm depressed again, just don't understand why my mood swings can be so extreme.....*sigh*....

here again

2007-03-14T16:28:00.000+08:00

i've been blogging quite often nowadays, haven't i? It has turned into something daily and routine for me. I think it might be because i've got no one to talk to - meaning my mom. She's not at home (off for vacation) and i can't phone her to tell her all the stuff. And i like to do that, i like to blab about all types of things happening to me to my mom - big things, little things, interesting things and even the boring things.....blah blah blah.....i think sometimes i'm so long-winded till my mom gets sick of it. She'll always end the conversation with sometime like "okay, it's very expensive. Study hard and take care..." Well, i am a very talkative person ma...hahazz...opps...they say doing maintenance now...so gotta go...=)

more on blood donation

2007-03-13T14:11:00.000+08:00

today some more of my friends went to donate their blood. I was there for moral support *grins* (more like being a busy body actually) and while i was there, i asked one of the nurses there the size of the needle used....it was 16 gauge O.o (i was right, it was more than 18g). Oh, and since one of my lecturer was there too to donate her blood, i took the opportunity to get some short lectures on injections from her. Haha. I found out that the first injection they gave before poking in the big needle was local anaesthetics which was to numb the pain as such a big needle (16g!!) will be punctured inside our arm. It was given intradermally (under our skin). I saw the belb (little whitish bulge) appearing as my lecturer said it would. It was quite cool and i will be learning how to do that...haha...=) Though it would be definitely be some time before i master the technique but i'm still looking forward to it. hehe. oh, and the stress thingy, well, i'll be alright, i'll just have to excercise my coping mechanisms a bit more than normal.....i need to be stronger. Shouldn't be too big a problem, i'm still alive =p remember to pray for me....thanks in advance..haha....

blood donation

2007-03-12T13:17:00.000+08:00

Enough of the stupid disequilibrium stuff, i'm going to ignore, ignore and ignore it. Let's talk about something else...hmm....today i went to donate my blood - for the very very 1st time. Don't think i am normal today. Usually i probably would have hesitated, but today - what the heck. So, anyways.....i donated 450cc (one bag) of my blood. My blood group is B+. Feels good, it's a new experience. Was nervous and excited at the same time. Of course i ate first. For registration purposes, i had to fill in some form, then checked blood group, tested if the iron in my blood is enough or not, checked blood pressure...then had to line up to wait for my turn. When it was, i laid on a make-shift bed, probably a stretcher or something like that. Had something injected in me (not sure what, didn't ask), after that, they use a big needle (probably 18 gauge, i think at least 18 gauge =.= and trust me, it's BIG) to puncture my right median cubital vein....that's the right arm part. Took 10-15 minutes for blood to fill the bag. Had some food and warm milo. Recieved gifts too, a pen (with "i am a blood donor" written on it =p), a tin of 100 plus and two cloud 9. And now i officially have a blood donating booklet. hahazz...opps...having a class soon..=) gotta go >.<

note: a bit painful when poking the needle in but still bearable. now still painful. as for feeling dizzy or faint...none...hehe...i'm a healthy baby =)

Internal State in Disequilibrium =(

2007-03-12T13:09:00.000+08:00

Sigh....So many things occupying and bothering my mind these days. Everything so jumbled up inside me. What to do??!!! I feel so fustrated, mostly with myself. Stupid, i can't even concentrate properly on my revisions and i'm having tests just in one week time. Lots of which i haven't even touched on yet. I should just ignore the stupid things that keep popping up in my mind, and concentrate solely on my studies!! and group work, and assignments, and my two-monthed clinical posting that is starting on 2nd April....uurrrgghhhhh.....If only i could just programme myself like a robot and ignore all of my stupid emotions and all the stupid distractions. Maybe i should try self-hypnosis. I know it's wishful thinking....Humans are complicated beings. Why cant they just stay naïve and ignorant and innocent?? Can't they stay simple and sweet? Why so complicated? It's only making life harder. Everything is just so beyond comprehension. Sigh...that's why i hate thinking so much and that many a times, i'd rather choose not to think about things, once i do start....the end results are usually like this.....headache....looks like i'm down in the pits again, sigh, it's like an old disease that keeps creeping back >.< help me please, God.....=(

Note for anyone who knows me and is reading this -> just ignore me >( because i think if i dont let all of this out somewhere....i'll honestly go bonkers.

00:00am
12th March 2007

Injections

2007-03-09T12:43:00.000+08:00

Have been having lectures on giving injections for the past one week and yesterday was when i really had a chance to jab, i mean on the manikins. I drew the medications and when to 'mdm buttocks' where i had to find where to give the injection and then jab the fake buttocks. It all went well, that is till i started to take my needle and syringe. I didn't mean to and couldn't control it, but my hands went shaking and trembling. My lecturer kept staring at me and said "Oh~~Bi-bi-a-na~, look at your hands...you're not going to jab your patients like that. You've got the right spot (cause the alarm will go off if jabbed at the wrong place, and it didn't when i jabbed) but your hands! Go and jab, jab, jab till your hands are stable." Oh well, then i apologised to mdm buttocks then continue jabbing my orange *laughs* well, that's all i have to share for the time being, have to go cell group now......=p

leave me alone

2007-03-07T11:53:00.001+08:00

that is what one of my best of friends said to me...it hurted a lot and still does...don't ask who. Maybe that friend didn't mean it as i took it but it's still painful to recieve that from a close friend.

exams again soon

2007-03-05T12:02:00.000+08:00

CNY 07 is over, and coming up is more studies and assignments. Lots of stuff to study, understand and remember. Lots of people around me seem depressed and stressed. Some even fall sick to the extent of vomitting and having diarrhoea. As for me, i do try to revise but i cant seem to get myself to concentrate properly. My mind wanders off and i always end up doing something else instead. I know this isn't right, i'm all grown up and somehow independent already...I should not behave like this. I should have self-motivation, control and discipline over myself....*sigh*.....sometimes, i ask myself "why am i like this? why cant i be like other people...they are studying so hard..." i'm hopeless.....=(

contents for blogs

2007-02-27T12:24:00.000+08:00

this is my blog, yes...but as there are people reading it, it makes it hard to blog about everything. Some of the things might be interesting to me but others might think that i am a bore. Some things, might interest others but it might be too personal to blog about. Do you get what i mean? So, the conclusion is that it is really hard to really blog out of my heart's content....

Back in Uni

2007-02-26T12:00:00.000+08:00

Here again...bummers...I'm still in holiday mood actually. It is still CNY!! Worst still, i might not be going back in june. So, i'll definitely miss my family and friends. I think i might not even be able to meet some of my friends till next year CNY coz although i'll be going back in dec but our holidays will not be the same....so sad. Oh well, nothing to do about it. Gotta go, have a class soon.

CNY 2007 hols - been great but ending soon

2007-02-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

Indeed it has been long since I last blogged. Many a times I felt like blogging but in the end didn't blog due to the lack of facility at where I live. This week (CNY week) has been a great week. I went around meeting friends and catching up. So sad that I have to go so soon, which is tomorrow. I will miss all things and people in Sibu. Anyways, I'll try to blog more, but I dont guarantee that I can. Need to go sleep now. Good night. Oh ya, and a very Happy Chinese New Year to all.

Merry Christmas~~~

2006-12-25T12:01:00.000+08:00

Wish all a holy, blessed, and joyful christmas!!

My housemates

2006-09-19T12:02:00.001+08:00

Updates on my housemates since i already know them more. Okay, starting with my roommate, Yvonne. She is a scholar of IMU. She studies all the time and get good results. She is sometimes funny and really can talk (only after you really get to know each other). She is dependant of her religion (christianity). She studies in our room in the middle of the night when no one can disturb her. haha, actually i can understand why, since three of us (me, kat, and miau) can be really noisy at times, opps, sorry, wrong, is noisy all the time. Noisy? Okay, let me explain from the very beginning....my housemate, katrina, or kat, is a..hmmm....'like me' person. We found that we are really similar in thought, actions and etc. And miau shin, or miau, is a 'fun' person. She really has a lot of reactions. hehe. We all, sorry, wrong again, only me and kat, like to bully her. We punch her, "molest" her (not really molest since she herself say between girls its not called molesting), and most of all - tickle her. She can really scream i tell you. And she screams "kat~~~~~" really loud whenever she is being bullied (no use actually, since kat always says to me "do whatever you want and just do it until you are satisfied"), well, sometimes she even scream for the fun of it =.= Haizz, but i think we bully her too much till she's become a bit crazy. She now has the habit of simply hitting people T.T last night, my thigh so red and painful, not to mention that it's full of her hand-print. She also knows how to bully people already, haiya, good things dont want to learn, learn bad things =p i'm not going to admit that she learned it from me or kat. Well, dont get me wrong, this is our way of 'building up a good relationship' *grins* I think i give her B- for her bullying skills. hehe. Anyways, kat and miau can cook. Yummy, i only need to cook rice and they cook vege, meat and fish for me. We share. Oh ya, me and kat like to go Starbucks for the wireless and we LOVE the food there. Hmm...what else....oppsss.....i forgot that i have another housemate, from Sri Lanka. Her name is Asha. She is an okay person....hmm......okay, really nothing else to blog about....buh bye...=)

IT test

2006-09-19T11:03:00.000+08:00

hehe, i'm having my IT test right now. Finished the thing and sent it to my lecturer's email. Now surfing the net. We are being tested on using microsoft excel. I only followed all the instructions and did the basic things. I found others making the table so pretty with colours and all that. haha....hope my excel thingy wont get penalize for being too simple...haha.....

For the rest of my 1st sem

2006-09-15T10:28:00.000+08:00

The only plans i have for now is to finish my assignments and study for my test. Other than that i also have to think about what to take to my clinical posting which is in Port Dickson. Oh ya, i'll be going for my clinical posting on the 29th of September. It's going to be as long as 7 weeks. well, 6 weeks actually and 1 more week is a week in between that is the Hari Raye break week (i'll be going to penang to visit my sis, hehe). When i come back from clinical posting, it'll be revision week, end of sememster exam, then holiday. I'm so looking forward to my semester break....sigh....

here in kl

2006-08-29T13:39:00.000+08:00

i think i've adapted. Nothing to tell...for now...really.....

hey, its someone i dunno!

2006-08-26T13:28:00.000+08:00

i know who is that guy already, its someone that i've never met and never even heard of. someone who knows me just gave my number to a total stranger!! oh man!! sigh....

strange guy

2006-08-24T14:35:00.000+08:00

i recieved a message from a guy a few days ago. i dont know who he is, not even to this day. this happened a few days ago when i suddenly recieved a message from an unknown number. that unknown person keep forwarding me messages. greeted me good night and good morning everyday. at first i ignored that person but i guess i got curious. i asked who he was and if he got the wrong person. he told me that his name is Albert, an intern at a general hospital and he even confirmed with me my name. i totally have no impression of him or whatsoever. he claims that he's seen me before but i doubt it. he also said that he got my number from a friend who knows me, but he didn't want to reveal who that particular 'friend' was *sigh* he even mentioned that that 'friend' said that i'm funny and cool =.= well, actually i think he has never seen me before. maybe from my friendster photos or something. sigh, sigh, sigh.......dunno how it will turn out to be. maybe i will continue to ignore him.....

miserable

2006-08-10T12:39:00.000+08:00

oh well.....i'm suffering here. got lots of assignments and there's a test coming up next week. not to mention the presentation which so unluckily falls on the same day as my test....sigh....haven't even started revising for my test yet, which is my basic medical sciences. The timetable is so packed and by the time i'm done with classes and chores and everything, its already what time. and the remaining time goes to my assignments....sobs....and if i sleep late, i'll be all for nods the next day. In a class of only 24, its hard not to get noticed. Once you start slipping out of concentration, the next moment, you'll feel their eyes on you. They might even ask whether if you rested well the night before....sigh.....sigh.........sigh.........

I need the muscles!!

2006-08-03T10:32:00.000+08:00

being a nurse requires a lot....and one of it is the muscle to carry heavy loads - as in the patients. Moving them and etc. We had some practice yesterday and well, today i'm aching all over T.T Reason one for the aching - not using the right body mechanics. Reason two - my body muscles are not used to it. Well, it'll need lots of practice and that means that i'll be aching for a long time....hope that i get it right soon....

obtaining my first nursing skills.....

2006-07-20T14:03:00.000+08:00

hello again, today's the first time i have my lesson in the nursing skills lab =) had to wear labcoat and do my hair in a bun...haha...it was fun and all, learning how to take temperature, pulse and respiration rate.....i'll need more practice.....

coping with my new life

2006-07-12T16:53:00.000+08:00

i'm coping okay i guess....though i have some problems like not being able to catch what the indian lecterurs are saying....there's the accent there and their way of pronunciation is so different.....to make things worse, they are teaching the science stuff.....sigh...god help me....

My new life as a Uni Student

2006-07-10T11:04:00.000+08:00

At last i have the chance to blog =) i'm actually in my uni's e-lab now. My laptop will have to wait till the 2nd semester i guess =p now for the lastest updates starting from getting to this place....

30th June - Decided to go IMU, book the ticket only on that night

1st July - went to buy things that i will need, most friends went out for further studies....packing...lots of luggage

2nd July - at last....the day has came =) i'm heading for kl, a two hours flight and not a three hours drive to bintulu...haha....met vincent tiong at the airport. sat together. it was free seating as we took air-asia.

3rd-4th July - preparations for going to uni. Handed in the forms, found accomodation(uni hostel). Moved in on the 4th of July. Met my housemates. They are all nice people =) I have 3 housemates, one of them is my roommate. Her name is Yvonne. I think she is quite the quiet type and prefers to be alone. My other two housemates are Katrina and Miau Shin. Both are friendly, actually all are friendly *grins* including me. haha. Katrina is the more straight type. She seems active, cheerful and extremely expressive. Anyways, that's jus my first impression on them, it will need time for us all to really know each other. We talk much, from boys to movies to hygiene stuff to all kinds of topis, the little bits and pieces. There will be another housemate from Sri Lanka joining us, if i'm not mistaken, in August for Medicine. But well, that's another story all together.

5th July - Registration at 9am. Walked there with my housemates, who are also my coursemates. Had the welcoming speech and stuff. It was motivating and made me really look forward to doing nursing at IMU. And it so happens that we were the first using a new lecture hall. There are parts still under construction, renovation. I found out that originally this building was a shopping complex. At that afternoon, we met our seniors too. That night, our seniors cooked for us. It was delicious. They told us about life in IMU too, and about doing nursing, the clinical postings and all those things.

6th July - Had games in the morning, it was fun. We had to run around the place. It was tiring. The games? Interesting and creative. Like flour and eating watermelon, song guessing, going into the pool to find station items, hints for the venue of the next station and etc. Had a fun presentation in the afternoon. We were devided into gropus and had to present some character found in movies through one of our group members. My team had to do the Grinch. Our seniors let us of early that day. At 3 something. They said to enjoy ourselves before class starts, cause when it does, we wont or hardly have the time to do so.

7th July - Had brief talks on the usage of the library, e-net...etc. met Alex in the evening too. he's been accepted at IMU to do pharmacy. At night, went to the lantern festival with my housemates and another coursemate. Nice~~all kinds of lanterns, of different shapes and sizes....there was a dragon made out of china plates, bowls, spoons...etc, it was very very very long...and i was like...wow....O.O There was also the kl twin tower, made out of little little glass bottles which were no begger than my thumb. and they made it high.....another wow....we ate steamboat *grins* of course there were other food stalls there too. We saw all kinds of other stalls too - a stall where you wear an ancient chinese costume and take photos, stalls with expert artists to draw your protrait, stalls that make key chains, stall that make some kind of candy into different shapes of animals etc....really amazing but i guess i dont really know how to describe it...haha.... other stalls?? etc etc etc...hahaha....i bought sweet corn too, yummy.....too bad i didn't have a camera with me....went back at 9 something( were there for more than two hours...) after that, talked with my housemates for hours...till two something in the morning...=p

8th July - Went back to my relative's house. My relative took me to top up supplies of the food and other necessitites that i would need. Most of the afternoon, i spent idling around and reading comic. Some part of the afternoon, went to Sunway Pyramid to shop around for socks and clothes. Night, i went to an english church service(City Harvest). It was lively and great. The message that night was meaningful too.

9th July - Morning went to a chinese fellowship of city harvest. Everyone was friendly and etc. Had ice-breaking. Had lunch there too. Rested in the afternoon. Called ning. Miss my friends. Will be long before i see them. Went back to the hostel at 7 something at night. Had mc'd foldover chicken for dinner. Busy washing clothes at night as had to do two days laundry (didn't wash my clothes when i was at my relatives place) plus the clothes i bought and etc. Watched a horror movie with my housemates after that. Slept at 12 something.

10th July - Started class today. Had intro to nursing, holistic nursing, anatomy, basic structure and function of cells and etc. Too much for me to digest all at once i guess. Have to work and study hard if i'm going to keep up. i have to do 5 er....how to say...5 topics this semester....with a few credit hours for each. 1 credit hour is equivelant to 14 hours of theory classes, and 28 hours for clinical. I found out that franky only has 14 credit hours this semester, that's less than 14 hours for him. Cause his one credit is one hour or less. Gosh!! the difference!! I'll really have to work hard!! Now's after class. I'm in uni's e-lab, checking mails..updating my blog and etc.

Well, i really do have lots and lots ahead of me....wish me luck =) I hope i'll be a great nurse *grins*

belated blog =)

2006-06-15T00:58:00.000+08:00

yeah, at last i have the chance to blog. been wanting to blog for a few days now. Move of heart but no action *grins* now for the updates....

8-9th June: 2nd & 3rd day of GB fun camp.
Woke up at about 645am. Went to church after getting myself ready. Had to go and get breakfast for the girls (buns-chasao & meat). The girls had praise and prayer after that. At 830am, we went to rejang's traffic garden for treasure hunting games (walked there from the church). Again, i was one of the station masters. This game which i was in charge of was quite easy. They just had to stand on a bench (all of the group members) while one of the member, blind-folded made her way from one end of the bench to the other. Others were quite interesting too. One of it was to stack up three levels of poker cards. Now that is hard. Especially as the wind was blowing hard that day too *laughs* Others were bingo (with people), standing on limited grounds, quiz and etc. With each level passed, a part of the amour (the theme was the full amour of God) was given to the group. It had to be worn on each group's choosen models =) The last stage was to complete a biblical verse. They had to draw thier answer from a black plastic bag. For suspense, the results was only to be announced the next day(well, in turn out that no one got the right answer). The games ended at 1200 noon. Lunch followed. Then some break for the girls. No rest for me @.@ as i had to prepare and set up things for afternoon's telematch, which was to be held at the church's basketball court. No stations this time. We started with a water fight. Each group had to prepare their flag (each group given a hoop with a handle had to cover the hoop's hole with newspapers which thus made their flag). Their weapon was plastic bag filled with water. They had to attack each other's flag as they defensed their own at the same time. In the end, two groups teamed against one and defeated it. As for the other team, they were disqualified for foul =) Other contents of the telematch included race to finish task like finishing food; tying ropes; holding different kinds of food with different parts of their body(between two people) and designing a dish, think up of a name with those food; passing water with cups held between their teeth; hoping a certain distance while placing one of their hands one the shoulder of the member in front of them and holding a leg of the member in front of them with the other hand(they all had aches on their hands and legs the next day); also was to put their face into a dish full of flour to bite out a candy which was hidden inside. No blowing was allowed and the candies was without wrappers. lolz; best of all was the flour fight which officers took part in too. Well, actually, this event was not planned. It was triggered when one of the officers started showering flour all over the other officers' heads (including me). The girls didn't really like it as the flour was with us officers and most of the time had to be 'bullied' by us. lolz. They of course 'took revenge'. We of course took a group photo of our flour-stained faces =) At a time i was oppointed the camera-man too and took photos of the events. Went home for a bath then to church again for dinner. Had bbq chicken, fishballs, hotdogs and etc...yum yum >) At night, had a prayer meet. Next day was not much compared to the previous. Cleaned and packing-up for the girls. Announced results and gave prizes. Evaluation too. Camp ended at noon. Result: serious sunburnt. Red as lobster as Ning says.

10-13th June: trip to kuching.
Attended relative's( mom's bro's son) wedding dinner. Reunion of long time no see relatives. All the kids there had to call me auntie. All my cousins are married and those are their kids. Kids are all grown up compared to when i last saw time(which was dunnno...maybe ages ago). Making me feel old. hahaz. They are all so cute. Also went to surveyed laptops. Didn'y buy any but maybe will after in get into uni. Might buy Dell.

14th June: to bintangor(afternoon trip).
Tag along(ning and jacky went too) to get the guinea-pigs for form-six peka. 29 in all. 27 live ones and 2 dead ones on the request of ning's mom(think she wants to cook it for consumption) I was the one who caught the little things and place them in boxes. They clawed me on my little finger T.T still can feel the pain. Anyways, on the way back to the other side, when jacky climbed onto the sampan, he nearly fell into the water, 45 degress slant. One hand clinged to wood (of the jetty) for support and the other holding one of the boxes of the guines-pigs. My first reaction was - ah!! the guinea-pigs (as he was holding the box over the water, a bit lower, the box would have touched the water). Of course if he dropped, it would have gone into the water with him. Miraculously, he somehow quickly placed the box in the boat and regained his balanced. We where all like - wow. My reation was afterwards termed as abnormal for my concern for the guinea-pigs and not him. lolz. Went to have a drink and eat some bintangor rojak after that. Dropped in for a short 'tour' at bintangor's public library too. Not a bad place. Franky surely will like the chinese books that they have there. At night, went to the cinema to watch x-men3(ning, cc, jacky & tbk). It was not too bad. After that, joined li chi, hcc and vt at muhibah for lim teh.

15th June: still awake.
wanted to sleep but changed my mind when i thought of all the things i wanted to blog but haven't blog. haha. Later have to wake up early since might be going to school to watch them operate on the poor little things =p

longest blog ever, ahha....i really need my sleep now..nightzz.....

my day

2006-06-07T23:53:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of GB girls' fun camp, about 30++ girls took part. Went to help out. Me and ning helped as station masters for tonight's game. (before that, i spent the evening at li's place to help prepare food for the girls) The game was like - there's this big circle, with a little circle in it. And in the little circle, we placed three soft toys. We tied one end of eleven nylon strings to a bundle of rubber bands, and the other to the waist of the girls. They had to stand outside the big circle and try to 'save' the soft toys from inside the little circle from the big circle without using hands. Absolute cooperation was needed. Out of three groups, two groups(out of three) managed to get one out. The last group didn't get any. It was fun. After that was evaluation of the games. Supper followed. Shared a bun with one of the girls. haha...without hands. mouths didn't touch and i'm not a les...haha....anyway i finished the small leftover part of the bun. Next, went to li's house again to help out with the preparations of tomorrow's breakfast. Reached home at about 10:50pm. Tiring day. I'm retiring to bed. haha...long day ahead of me tomorrow and i'll need lots of energy =) night!!

We are just friends......

2006-05-25T11:32:00.000+08:00

Why does people keep saying me and him are bf and gf? There's really nothing between us...friends, just friends. This is actually nothing new but recently, things has been more...uh....how do i put it....even close friends are starting to say 'fishy...' to me. Or maybe i am the one late in getting and hearing all these gossips. One of my friend even said 'everyone is talking about it'. Well, i think that's just bluff....Anyway, according to a close friend, many people has been asking for her confirmation on the matter....*sigh*....maybe not very convincing when i say there's nothing....right? T.T but that is the truth....the hard and solid truth....when two singles of opposite sex are friends.....doesn't have to mean that they are a pair......even if they are good friends......plus, i've already promised i'll tell when i really do have a bf, even if one day it really turns out to be him, i'll admit it.....really......i will...so....someone please just believe me when i say there's really nothing between the two us?? God help me......

Hymn Of Promise

2006-03-17T15:01:00.000+08:00

In the bulb there is a flower,
In the seed, an apple tree,
In cocoons, a hidden promise,
Butterflies will soon be free.

In the cold and snow of winter,
There's a spring that waits to be,
Unrevealed until its season,
Something God alone can see.

Ther's a song in every silence,
Seeking word and melody,
There's a dawn in every darkness,
Bringing hope to you and me.

From the past will come the future,
What it holds, a mystery,
Unrevealed until its season,
Something God alone can see.

In our end is our beginning,
In our time, infinity,
In our doubt there is believing,
In our life, eternity.

In our death, a resurrection,
At the last, a victory,
Unrevealed until its season,
Something God alone can see.

Funeral

2006-03-17T14:27:00.000+08:00

Had been a few days since i attended her funeral. It was tuesday morning. Went to the hospital at about 645am. Placed a little white flower in her coffin. Looked at her for the last time. She wore our GB officer full-uniform(she was our ex-capt, handed over her duties in 2005). She was a faithful worker of christ. Lying there, she seemed cold, rigid and so uncomfortable....memories of time spent together flooded me and tears flowed. The crowd around sang hyms as people took turns to pay their respect and to place flowers in her coffin. The atmosphere itself was down and painful enough, not to mention the hearts of those who knew her, her students, collegue (she was a teacher in St.E), friends, family, relatives.....Her coffin was closed, took photos and we all went to Zion Methodist church for her memorial service. Her life journey was told and photos where shown....even one little part of her diary. Its contents were about how she felt about the 10th anniversary(2003) of our 3rd Sibu GB Sunday. On how she was tired after it all but didn't feel sleepy yet. In it, she even wondered how it would be on the 20th anniversary.....although she would no longer be the Capt at that time but it would sure be some experience and something to look forward to.....After that, all of us GB girls and officers (from other companies too) sang a hymn....our rev gave a short account of how it happened, how he felt and etc. Soon the service ended and we proceeded to the graveyard for her burial....It all ended at 1030am. A teary morning indeed....Compared to Lord Jesus, she has had her time...it was sudden, but she did impact many of those around her....her work is done and God came to take her back with him....she will be waiting for us in our heavenly home...one day we shall meet and reunite in God....Amen.

Condolence

2006-03-12T23:36:00.000+08:00

Someone, who has been a friend and a teacher to me for the pass 12++ years, passed away tonight. It was so sudden. First they sent me message asking me pray for her then the next moment i recieved one that said she had already passed away....I even doubt if there was some mistake or joke to that message. My friend called to confirm. It is true...really really true....a hard and harsh fact that she is no longer with us.....that our Heavenly Father took her back with Him......

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Special day today

2006-03-09T11:42:00.000+08:00

Today is my mom's birthday (chinese calender 10th Feb). She had totally no idea that it is her b-day. Gave her a new handphone for her present, her old one was already like non-usable....well, at least to me it seems so. Big and bulky and 'laoya'. Some antic. Haha. Used my fist pay of my first job to buy it =D She's happy about it and i'm glad she likes it that much...though she says that she doesn't know how to use it. Rest assured, the handphone comes with 'handphone lessons'.....haha......

Now i know why......

2006-03-06T17:07:00.000+08:00

Now i know why some of the people i know slept through good movies (or found it boring anyway). Happened to me too. Not long ago, i downloaded a movie 'Underworld' from the internet with bitcomet. It was as large as 1.4++GB and took me 27 hours to download it. It was a good movie or supposedly a good one until i actually started watching it....why? because i found out that the one i downloaded wasn't in english. Maybe it was in spanish, italian or french(no subtitles, no nothing)....who knows.....i kept watching anyway, 2 long hours, and i didn't understand what was going on, not even a bit of it.....it was a disaster. The movie was a hit and i found it un-interesting. My mum called me stupid and i joked 'Now i know why people sleep through good movies, because they dont understand what is being potrayed or just simply that they dont understand the language that is being used' lolz.....=p

What i do on my off-day

2006-02-27T23:32:00.000+08:00

This morning i went to school again. A teacher asked me and a friend of mine to do some keying-in for him. As we sat there keying-in the class schedules, some of the teachers who saw us asked questions like 'Oh, so free?' and said things like ' I wont mind having some help too'. Hmm.....seems like we're going to school too often - frequent visitors. lolz. Of course, it is not without 'pay' *grins* Had free breakfast. Anyways i will go again on wednesday to continue my unfinished work...and my friend who is not working will go tomorrow...maybe she will have to go everyday morning..haha....At about 10am went to listen to a talk - A Career in Science. Met some long-time-no-see friends who were also there for the talk. One of them said that i'm now slimer and prettier which of course made me happy...hahaha....Had brunch after the talk in the school canteen with a group of friends. My friend who did the keying-in with me had to leave first, her mom called. By the time we finished, it was nearly 12pm and had already been raining for a few hours. Had to run in the rain to get to my car which was at some distance outside. Sent a friend who is teaching at the school home then i went home too. Slept like a log for the whole afternoon. At night, wandered around the house doing nothing and waiting for time to pass (I'm no ghost alright, lolz). Well, that's my day. Later will have a quick-play at a game then off to slumberland. Tommorow....i still have to go to work....sigh....

Just some random blab

2006-02-13T22:03:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone....i'm here to blog again...would not be here if not for a certain someone who reminded me it was time to update my blog once more. hehe. special thanks to that somebody for helping keep my blog alive...haha...This time i'll jus blog about random stuff happening around me - the little little things going on. First of all, my work....nothing special to it really....day in day out all the same, at times so boring that i would just nod of to dream land and other times so busy till i dont even have the time to lift my head. Been asked to answer calls and to attend to customers. Was bombarded with tons of questions which 90% of it i dont really know how to answer. Most of the time, i end up smiling politely telling them i'm not really sure as i'm new around and feeling really idiotic. Made some mistakes but nothing really serious. I was even told that some parents can be really difficult and will scold you even if you are not at fault but as far as today, i've never encounter such cases - thank God. Contrary, it was the 'cute' little kids that i find problem in. Some are really naughty, doesn't listen and get to your nerves....okay, not 'some'....to be fair, i should say one or two....the 'crush, kill and destroy' type of kids.......maybe not as serious as i might make it sound to be...well, they are kids.....excluding those two, most kids are pretty little angels....as long as they stay obedient, cute and adorable...haha....got my first pay on the 20th last month....it was directly banked in into my account...plans for it are still yet to be formed.....Okay, enough of my work....now i want to blog(actually to complain) about something which sprouted out recently and made the the talks of some people....recently, there have been rumours that i am with someone(to be accurate, most people are saying that i am interested him...yucks...)...which is so very very very very very not true....i am even being teased about it...T.T...oh no...this is just cannot be.....why me....sigh......anyways....will talk more about it on my next blog....time to ZzzzzZzzzzZzzzzz...............

CNY Blog

2006-02-02T13:15:00.000+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year to all =)
Been having lots of fun for the pass three days(went visiting to my friends' and teachers' houses)
Collected quite a number of red packages too *grins* but haven't really counted them yet. All the visiting has really worn me out, maybe i have no choice but to admit i'm too old for this..haha...Anyways, today - the fifth day of CNY is also regretfully the last day of my off days. Will start working tomorrow, so i'll have to get myself plenty of rest. That's why i'm not going visiting today and actually sitting in front of my computer blogging. Well, want to go sleep now...afternoon nap....hehehe...i'm a pig....=p

Two stupid people sitting in the car...

2006-01-24T07:31:00.000+08:00

That was the very thing bk said to me and nn yesterday morning. Why? Well, it started with us wanting to go to school to find a teacher. That teacher, a he whose wife gave birth to a baby girl not long before had said to belanja us eat breakfast. Bk said that it was rude to go just like that, without bringing anything. So we went to a shop to buy a tin of milo. At the shop, he parked the car somewhere near, got out of the car then locked it with us inside. Actually, me and nn were about to get down too but he locked it the very minute nn open the car door. So she had to close it back. For some time we played miss call with bk's handphone(he had left it in the car). nn miss called ck, who called back but nn hung up on him. After some time, it grew stuffy, the windows couldn't be opened as it was not the manual type and u know how it feels when u are trapped in a closed compartment, small too. So nn opened the car door.......at that very moment, the car alarm rang. Me and nn immediately had a -_-''' and >.< and T.T and -o- kind of expression. In panic, she pulled the door close but the alarm keep ringing. We were a bit, quite some bit of embarressed. People looked. We looked around the car to find a way to stop the alarm but it was in vain. Suddenly, without us doing anything, the alarm stopped and we breathed a breath of relief. However, this was not the end of the story, the alarm then rang again as abruptly as it stopped a few seconds back. This went on for many many times. Me and nn was amazed at how the car could even 'rest' for a few seconds before it continued ringing. Not long after, bk came back with a =\ expression on his face. The first word he said "two stupid people sitting in the car...." As we asked how come his alarm was so special, he said "no, it was me who kept pressing the car remote to try to stop the alarm but it jus continued a few seconds after i pressed the button" He went to complain that he even panicked and pay the wrong amount of money to the cashier, paid more(but no matter, since the cashier returned the extra). Anyway, it turned out that the alarm couldn't stop because nn didn't close the door properly....hehe...although this is jus a small incident i think its worth blogging too, haha....some kind of incident this is.....lolz....

My Future

2006-01-15T23:36:00.000+08:00

Dunno what to do with my future....no plans at all....all is fogged up....don even have the slighest hint as to what i should do...arghh......

Buzzz.........

2006-01-15T23:33:00.000+08:00

Been working working and working these few days......OT too >.< Cause have to check stock, then the closing is like jus the day after.....anyways it's not really tiring....quite boring actually...but mustn't be too choosey....

Something Extrz

2006-01-11T07:50:00.000+08:00

Good morning all...=)
I jus noticed something.....
ive turn into rudolf...hahha.....
i've got a really red nose....
*yawn* still sleepy....>.<
gotta prepare for work now...byzzzz

I'm back....sunburnt and all....

2006-01-10T22:39:00.000+08:00

Went to Bintangor today(as it is a public holiday, i didn't have to go to work).......and here is my report*laughs*
At 7am, ah kiing came and fetch me....ning, ck was already in the car. After we fetched ah kiing's grandma(father's side), we started our journey.....First of all, we dropped by ah kiing's grandma's house. Learnt how to pick 'million kuok'....haha...then took a walk through a small pathway to the pepper plantation.
Around 9 something(i think), dropped ah kiing's grandma at the wet market....four of us went for breakfast-rojak...hahaha....next was tour around the place, strolled in a park. I even got on a swing...haha...but it was too low(hmm....i think it was meant for kiddies...hahaha).
10 something, parked the car...to the habour, into a long and narrow sampan to cross to the opposite bank.....quite scary at first(was okay the second time)...the sampan was like swaying left and right....seems like it will overturn anytime.....and ning made it worse by swaying moreT.T.....but anyway....we got safely across...haha.....note: it was ah kiing's grandpa (mom's side) that took us over. Idled around for a while........fascinated by surroundings.....played around with a pair of binoculars...
1133am, had lunch.....had curry, fried chicken and some vege which it's name i know naught...lolz....after that....we spent most of the afternoon fishing....we caught 8 fish in all(personally, i caught one and i'm really pround of it...hehe..it's my first time fishing u see), excluding two little fishies and the prawns.....prawns were mostly tiny and used for bait....we even had coconut, grapes and pou while fishing...really enjoyable....except that it's a fact that i stayed too long in the sun and got some major cases of sunburnt.....there's burnt on my face, neck and hands.....as i wore a watch, there's a mark there now....a strip of white on my red red hands....plus another strip of white at the back of my neck where my hair covered my neck....yipes yipes...........
Almost 5pm, we went in for a bit of rest....munched on some chips.....started to rain soon after....we could actually see the rain coming from the other side of the bank, approaching us.....it was cool...
At 6pm, had dinner......after dinner, went to the back to see cute little hamsters....or is it guinea pigs?? hmm.....dunno...lolz.....
At 7pm, rain had stopped, it was getting dark too....time to go....it so happens then that something went wrong with the engine....that delayed us for at least half an hour.....there was mosquitos and we were all getting tired from squating.....other than that...the delay was actually quite worth it cos we actually got to see fireflies as it was darks enuf...plus it was after rain....
After that, we went to collect some things, picked up ah kiing grandma then on our way home(along the way, we ran into a tortoise, don worry, we didn't run over it*lolz*we had to get down and place it at the side of the road).....
I got home at 9pm something.....or is it 10pm something??? hahha......i forgot...anyways...that's all.....i wonder how i'm going to face my colleages with my 'damaged' looks...lolz.....sure i'll be laughed at.....okies...i'm going off soon....still have work tomorrow......

Work

2006-01-06T20:14:00.000+08:00

I'm dead tired today but i've been wanting to blog for some time now...
So here i am....
Started work for four days now...it's not too bad....but since i'm new around...there's nothing much for me to do(jus yet)...but i believe that it will grow with the days that i stay there. The people there are all nice and friendly, fun to be around with. Though the most i can do for now is to laugh....(only).....hahahahaha....
Yesterday between the breaks...i went to eat with one of the staff...we ordered rice with sweet and sour fillets....it was delicious..until i found a black crockroach like little insect in my rice....yucks....sigh....the people there act as if finding that thing in the rice is our fault...such attitude.... sigh...nevermind, forget it.......
oh....anyway, i'm working as a clerk at Yamaha Music School....

Okay...that's about all for this blog....G'nite~~~~*yawns*

Happy 2006 =)

2006-01-02T11:35:00.000+08:00

Yeah~~~~
This is the very first blog for this year....
The curtains of 2005 are closed....
Time sure passes by without people noticing it
The first second, everybody's getting ready for public exam(my batch)
The next.....it's all over.....
Last year's not too bad if i might say so myself...nevermind the trial and tribulations...
There were happy times too....though i dont think i blogged about it much...did i?
I hope that this year will be better...hehehe.....
I'll fill it will most meaningful memories.....
Maybe i'll find myself a bf too(haha...jus kidding...i think not so fast)
Anyways....i recieve quite a meaningful email today that i want to share here....

hmm....

2005-12-31T08:47:00.000+08:00

went to straighten my hair....and now i think i look weird...hahaha.....
maybe i shouldn't have gotten it straightened??
My neighbour says that look more baby-faced....
my aunt....says that i look uglier.....T.T
Well....whatever, what's done is done.....I jus have to get use to it....i guess =p

Chronicles of Narnia

2005-12-18T12:45:00.000+08:00

Watched Narnia for the second time (both times at the theater..hahaha) =D It was great....i mean it is great *Grins* Okay, i promised to talk about it in the previous blog, well, now i that think of it, better not be a movie spoiler for those who haven't know watched it....as for those who has already watched it....you know what i mean when i say that the movie is great. Anyway, anyone who hasn't watched it yet should really give it a try.....=)

Today

2005-12-10T20:43:00.000+08:00

Had some serius headache today....throat not feeling normal as well......guess i'll jus have to drink lots and lots of water and have long rests......
Went to tambourine practice this morning.....it was for christmas performance.....then went to wen ai's house, went for breakfast.....in the afternoon, went to watch Narnia...it was...like....赞....
I'll talk about it in my next blog......have to get my dinner first...i'm starving mad....hahaha.....

To Sarikei i go....

2005-12-10T19:35:00.001+08:00

On 5th of December.......
Tomorrow i'm going to Sarikei for 少团退修会(have to report myself at the church where we are gathering before 8am).....just got back home for not too long a time....been out for the whole day and i haven't even packed my bag yet...haha....oh...where did i go? Well, i went to a meeting for the 退修会 then after that, Franky called for supper....anyway, it turn out in the end that we didn't go for supper but for walks in parks.....there was ning, li, pauline, chung haw, franky, bick kiing, chuan....reached home at about 11 something nearing 1130...haha....okie....that's all for today...have to pack my bag.....

On 9th of December......
I'm back =)
Was there and now i'm back...haha...it was a great trip!
Really learnt a lot there and also made loads of new frens + meaningful memories.....
I hope i remember what i learnt there.....
I found myself closer to God....it's really always awesome to feel His love for me....i'm feeling more and more of His love everyday for me....not that He is loving me more and more but the fact that He is love...and it's eternal, undying, and oh so every deep......=)
On the first day....i rewatched "Duty".....it reminded me of my duty as a christian....and brought questions to me....'am i showing the arrow?Do i point the way to christ?' 'Do i carry the cross?' 'am i a living testimonial?'......it was still as moving as the first time i watched it.....
On the second day.....had to lead a game....results of it? sunburnt....but never mind...everyone had fun...that's what important....also listened to the theme talk on being a 'forever hero'....Made an important decision to somehow give myself to the works of Christ....
On the third day....and other talks...one about 潮流 and the other about 恋爱史.....both was interesting.....at night...had a 分享会......
On the Fourth and last day....the 9th, that is today.....went to 鱼鳞甲.....played on the beach, enjoyed the wind and scenery and the good food too.....bought 2kg of jelly fish home...RM12 per kg....reached home at about 5pm.....tired...dead tired.....had a nap...woke up and went to 青团聚会.....tired.......
In the camp, as a 导师, have to lead a group, helped out the group leader....it was way different from being a 契友......and from all the last camps i had ever been to....felt old...hahaha....it was really a new experience for me...but a good one....

Finally.....=)

2005-11-21T21:24:00.000+08:00

=)
Can't stop smiling today+doing a little jig.....can't help it....my STPM is FINALLY over...
Hahaha....YEAH~~~~~~~I'm so happy....so blissfully happy....hehehehe.....
Three cheers!!!
Hip Hip Hooray!!!!
Hip Hip Hooray!!!!!
Hip Hip Horray!!!!!!
=)

i've been tagged....

2005-08-26T09:40:00.000+08:00

wah...can't believe that i've been tagged....relly didn't expect that blogging also has something like this-blog tag.....hehe.....sound like something fun actually.....something weird for weird people like me to play...hahaha....
okay...so what is blog tag?
it's suppose to tag people, something like a curse that if you do not play or keep this going, then you'll be forever 性无能....geez.....who ever thought of something like this anyway? oh well....
the task given to complete is.....題目：怪癖。寫下五個自己的怪癖、奇怪的嗜好、異於常人的習慣。
mm...well.....though i dont reallly believe this kind of thing....i'm still going to play it....jus for the sake of having fun......

1. ..........( i can't think of anything....maybe this hints that i'm normal?? too narmal??)......
........
..........what the heck am i going to write......
......................okay....here goes...

1. Have cereal as my three main meals~if it wasn't for my mother who insisted that i eat properly...i would have probably have cereal as my three main courses. Hey...cereal is great...mind you....

2. Auto mixer~for those who knows me well...knows that i'm a lazy brat...well....what's with the auto mixer then? hehe...that's my mouth...sometimes i'm jus too lazy to make a drink in a cup, step by step...what's the easiest way? hehe....you should have guessed by now....well, scoop some milk or milo or both into my mouth then puor some water then walla.....that's it...instant drink...hahaha......=p

3. Speak to myself~sometimes when i really got nothing better to do, i face the mirror and speak to myself. Call me weird.....

4. Bite someone~I like biting my frens...but only for a specific few...hahaha...i have my taste too...mind you...hahaha.....

5. Drawing and writing on people~I like drawing on my frens' hands or arms...haha....with clear blue point pen...the kind that is hard to rub off...hahaha...wonder what i write or draw? hahaha....the mostly used phrase is 'property of bibi'...hahaha.....

well....that's it....i guess....man....reading back on what i write...i think i'm a really wierd person...but i think i like it this way....haha....unique mah...hahaha.....
then next is to tag five more people.....well.....i don really wanna curse people so i think i'll just skip this part? maybe although i told on myself but on not completing this game (tag five more people) then i'm going to get cursed anyway? well...who cares.....in case it really comes true.....i'll go adopt a kid then >p wahahaha......

interesting phone call

2005-08-21T12:48:00.000+08:00

caller: Hello, is ah bi in?
mom: nope, may i know who are u?
caller: i'm her fren(同学)
mom: fren from where?
caller: fren from her school....
mom: what's ur name?
caller: may i know her handphone number?
mom: what's ur name?
caller: why do u ask so much for?(你问那么多干什么)
mom: i'm her mother, she's my daughter. Why can't i ask! i have the
right to ask. She's still studying, so u dont disturb her!!
caller:....oh...never mind then...bye.

Above is a phone call my mom answered while i was not at home(went to 林子明文化馆). She told and complained about it to me when she came to fetch me. She said, "what a rude boy, dare to speak to an elder like that!!" She was unhappy about the part he said why she ask so much for.....She not jus merely unhappy, but really infuriated. And she also complained about him not daring to tell her his name, not being 光明磊落. Hmm....I had to listen to her complaint all the way home. Well, actually, i think it's quite funny...hahaha.....well.....i wonder who that caller is......God knows.....

after the fist trial

2005-08-19T16:17:00.000+08:00

phew...today is the last day of my first trial. Had maths paper 2 this morning....well....what could i say...i think i did badly(actually, i know i did badly, real badly), i didn't do the first three questions...it was worth 25 marks in all....well...who cares, it's now over and i also can't do anything to change the fact that i flunked my exam....
i guess although i did very badly....i'm still a bit relieved that the first trial is over. I know that bigger challeges are still yet to come(sigh..like my second trial and double sigh...my STPM) and this isn't the time to let down my hair.... but to me, this is still a little breather from all the studies(though i admit that i don study much =p)
Well.....holidays are right up my door knocking(yay....)....and so is a more stressful life(haizz...but no yay).....
Nowadays sitting in front of the comp is like sinning(from the way my mother reacts everytime she sees me sitting in front of the comp...sigh) To her, playing comp for 2 hours is for 'a whole afternoon'. Walau eh....really makes me crazy.....spare me!!!!.....haizzzz.......
I know she is worried about me and stuff la....wan me to get good results and etc. etc. etc.....but this is just too much.....God.....help me........
Okay i know what she thinks.....i'm her daughter...trust me...i know......i also know what i should do and shouldn't do......for pete's sake...i'm no longer a little girl...arggghh....just can't stand it sometimes.......
haizz.......haizz........haiz................
okay okay okay........i give up.......T_T.......books...i'm coming......

this kinda life is really wearing me out.......haizzz.......

我惨了.......

2005-07-31T16:20:00.000+08:00

唉...好烦噢.....明天就进入八月份了....考试越来越近了....可我的进度确不怎么样，发觉好多好多的书还没念，好多练习等着我去做，好多东西需要背，好多东西要理解明白...唉...总之就是好多好多事情应该开始熟如指掌了，可我却还是一头雾水，远在后头....总觉得时间又有限，只有三个月了，这次抱定是必死无疑了。我知道应该开始很努力很努力了，但从何开始呢？真的好乱。下不了手啊....父母，亲戚，朋友，大家对我的期望都好大好大.....形成了无比的压力，压着我，让我无时无刻都感到喘不过气来....总用一副嘻哩哈啦的模样面对他们....我.....好累噢.....真的好累好累......又好烦.....烦啊.....烦啊......烦啊........烦啊........天啊......我快疯了............

Mid Year Variety Concert

2005-07-10T22:27:00.000+08:00

Went to a variety concert by Ochestra Dewan Suarah Sibu(ODSS)...
Program:
1. Handel - Water Music(ODSS)
2. Bach Concerto(ODSS) - Evelyn Kiew(piano)
3. Methodist Secondary School Choir
- Bujang Lapok
- Les Miserables(arranged by Ed Lojeski)
4. Trio: (1) La Cucaracha (2) We still believe in love
Flute: Michelle Wong Drum: Andrew Wong Piano: Tiang See Ching
5. Piano Solo: Karen Wong (On Argentine children's folk-tunes)
(1) Franz Liszt - Meine Freuden/ Nocturne(My delight)
(2) Alberto Ginastera - Rondo
6. Violin Solos: (1) yu2 quan2 neng2 chang4 (2) Beethoven Sonata in F
Violin: Teng Teck Wang Piano: Evelyn Kiew
7. Piano Duet: Thomas Ling/ Clara Tang
(1) 'Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy' from the
'Nut Cracker Suite' by Tchaikovsky
(2) Russian Dance, "Trepak" from the 'Nut Cracker Suite'
(3) 'The bouncing ball' by Bizet
8. Euphonium Solo: Andrew Eh/ Paino: Jensen Tang
'Memory' from the "Cats" Musical by Andrew Llyod Weber
9. BB Bag Pipes
10. Violin Solo: Jensen Tang/ Piano: Connie Lau
Polish Dance by Edmund Severn
11. Piano Duet: Thomas Ling/ Karen Wong
3 pieces from '15 portraits of children' inspired by the paintings of Renoir
12. Methodist Secondary School Choir
- Bohemian Rhapsody (arranged by Mark Brymer, words and music by Freddie Mercury)
- You'll never walk alone (arranged by Johnny Mann, words by Oscar Hammerstein II,
Music by Richard Rodgers)
13. Mozart Flute Quartet (ODSS) Flute: Tiang See Ching
14. Phantom of the Opera (ODSS) Conductor: Hu Wei Ung
15. New World Symphony (ODSS)
- Dedicated to sister Ting Ai Hua, our ex-member who passed away last week

Comments: As i sat there and listened, a few thoughts struck me. They played great and i think that they are really very talented to know how to play all those musical instruments. It made me think-there are lots of things that i don't know...many many things. It made me feel really small and insignificant. Other than that, the choir made me feel thankful that i could hear. They sing great( They got champion in Sarawak in a competition, and is going to national levels in melacca soon). And i thought that if they sing so great, the heavenly choir up there would better better by many many times. Everyone can learn from any other people, even if that somebody that is a farmer. There are so much things i want to learn, do, see, experience....i know i won't be able to do all, but i tell myself that i'm going to live a quality life =)

on the 2nd day.....

2005-07-10T13:34:00.000+08:00

mom woke me up at 630 this morning, nearly overslept, hastily got ready for sunday service. Still tired from the day before and really sleepy. The sunday service ended at 840 (yikes!! Part 2 of my BOT1 was supposed to start at 9) Rushed home for a change of clothes (GB T-shirt) & went for breakfast. As expected, i was late (10 minutes late) though i already rushed like there was a dog chasing me from behind, lolz. But never mind, some people came later than me. =p Not a good sign actually coz as GB Officers, we should be well-discipplined and be punctual. Actually i had already learnt the things they talked on, but well, i treat it as a renewal for my memory and also from an officer's aspect rather than a girl's. It ended at 12 something.
Got home at 1. Ate lunch. And now...i'm going to sleep.....ah man, i'm so dead tired......

...it all ended in the midst of fireworks....

2005-07-09T23:56:00.000+08:00

today had a full day.....
woke up at about 6 something (nearly 7) in the morning, i thought to myself...oh my, dead meat, i'm late (had to go to school for the education talk), it was supposed to start at 8 but well, since was organized by JC Seduan & JJ, so had to get there at 7.....went out without having my breakfast. *sigh* all becoz i slept late (about 1 something) the night before. Anywayz, the education talk went on smoothly, though not many people went (people attending comprise mostly of our own people), but some is still better than none. I think it was educating in some way or other to me (and i hope to those who went too). some aspects like pathway of education and different courses was touched on. The speaker was Miss Lucy. The talk finished around 930, we cleaned up and went for breakfast together (me, magdelene, jenny, ning, chong king, jason, johnny, n eric). Ate tie2 ban3 kiuhtiao n had lemon ice. Got the photoes of ASC at Miri from chong king. N chong king talked about how scardy cat i was when i cross the miri bridge....honestly la, though i was a bit (really a bit only la) scared but definitely not as timid he describes....its some people that keep shaking the bridge la T_T
Reached home at about 11 something, had to get ready for the BOT1 (GB Basic Officer Training) which starts at 1 in the afternoon. Had some classes, talks and drill. Thank God i still remember how to march (been 1++ year since i last marched) The training lasted till 7.
At later time, around 9 something, went to sibu guang chang for the borneo cultural festival closing ceremony. The whole place was like packed. Many people smoked (yucks). The program was great. Watched some Korean dances by people from Korea, and also some singing, dances n presentation of musical instruments by people from china. It was like wow....wow....& wow....dances was great...and i like especially the presentation of musical instrument. That man is really talented, he blew hu2 lu2, di2 zhi3, and meng4 di2 (a very very small blowing instrument, smaller than a regular pinky finger). He also play music on a saw, wow, a saw, wow. Another man played er4 hu2. Amazing, he could play as if it was the trotting of horses and also the neighing of horses. Wow.
At nearly 11, all was coming to an end, the festival was officially declared closed with the accompanyment of great display of fireworks. It was beautiful. Wow.....it all ended in the mist of fireworks. "See ya in 2006!!" =)
When i reached home, it was already 11 something. Tried reaching a fren whose b-day is today. Tried calling him all day, but i guess he's fully booked for the day =p In the end, jus left a message wishing him happy birthday (at that time, it was nearly 12) Couldn't wait, have to sleep, really tired...yes, tiring, but well, what a great day!!

a nite out

2005-07-01T23:45:00.000+08:00

jus back....and this is how i spent it....
745pm - went to buy birthday card for my fren, chung haw....celebrating his birthday later the same nite(at 900pm)...last minute buy...lolz....
800pm - by the time choose finish, it was time for me to go to li chi's house to watch some tv program on dancing competition(xing1 kong1 wu3 zhuan4 yuan2). It was great. Use the advertisement time to write the card.
900pm - sing ning came to fetch both me and li chi, then we also went to pick up vincent chew and sow ing. other frens(clement, neng tung, chee kung...not in the same car) couldn't decide where to go. After a while they said to go to ku3 tian2 garden. had to drive all the way from rejang park to the garden. it was a long journey....
when we got there it was already nearly 1000pm, we got there before chung haw....short after other frens(vincent tiong, bick kiing, leonard, alex, franky, king chuan) also arrived, including chung haw....lighted the candles, sang b-day song...well, the usual stuff(note: they put trick candles and it kept relighting even after it was already blown out, it was soo funny, lolz).....then after that we had 'icing' fight(i also took part)....lolz...chased each other around the place like little kids and embarassingly, i screamed and shriek like a kid too...when i got tu2 dao4 by my frens(franky and chung haw) with icing(and of coz i didn't let them off jus like that la...hahaha)... =p
hmm....then had a walk round the place(it was pretty with all the lighting effects and stuff) and took some photos.....(stupid alex didn't wanna take photo with me,and he ended up being called chou4 alex for the rest of the night, by me of coz..haha)
1025pm - sow ing has curfew at 1030pm so had to send her home first. da3 bao1 some salad you1 tiao3 for her.
1100++pm - went to fei ma(somewhere near kingwood) for second round. very hungry...cake wasn't enough to fill my stomach..hehe....had ice tehchi and fried kiuhtieu(dry)..hehe...while there, unexpectedly met a fren(louis) who was back from aus. says that he's going out again soon...either this friday or the next one.
anywayzzz.....i reach home at about 1140pm.....the latest ever compared to other nights that i've been out....so i think i should record it down in here...hahaha....think i'm wu liao la...or whatsoever...i don care...i juz wan to remember this fun night(maybe according to what i've blog don sound so interesting la...i'm not good at words...to me, it's been an enjoyable night)...hehe....

in another part of e day...

2005-06-30T17:36:00.000+08:00

oh well....here i am again....two post in a day...hmmm....dunno if that's good or not...
just back from wen ai's house. went roller blading, had a few shots of basketball, dribbled it around for a bit then played some piano. It was real fun, sweated lots. It's been some time since i last had such exercise that would make me sweat. really, if not for wen ai, i wouldn't be doing any sweaty activities at all, so good for you wen ai =) i'm a real unhealthy gal, trapped in my house all day, doing nothing at all....and when i say nothing at all...i mean nothing at all. unhealthy life....so i just can't wait for the day i'm going out...lolz....well, that is if my result is good enough to allow me to go out for futher studies...well, better get going now, i'm smelly.....gonna bath, have dinner then declare war on my stupid textbooks, no use sighing over it if i'm not going to do anything about it, i'm not giving up....even though for now, i'm on the losing team...one day, i will be victorious over it, one day.....(hope that that day will be soon enough....my STPM is jus a few months away....yikes...)

what am i to do wif m'self??

2005-06-30T14:17:00.000+08:00

I.....am not satisfied with myself.....
i know i should study hard, real hard as e first trial is jus like....1 month away n i'm still slackin like it's my honeymoon year. D*mn!!! what's e hell wrong with me.
I've tried to study, really force myself to look at e books but jus end up drooling over e book or having my attention divided to sumwhere else....
i jus can't concentrate...n i dunno y.....
ya.....my frens ask me to study, my teacher ask me to study(u'd better hang urself if u don, he says), my parents of coz-also ask me to study....sigh...as if i don wanna study.
it's not that i don wanna study alright?!? jus that i really can't get myself to study.
i don wanna play, i don wanna slack of, i don wanna spend most of my time sleeping, i don wanna face this comp and blog.....i wan to study, i rally really wan to.....i know the consequences of not studying....it's my future....i worry about my STPM too.....but well......sigh......
I'm a useless brat.....i hate myself....good for nothing....##$%@&*^%.....

don't do something you will regret later?

2005-06-28T16:29:00.000+08:00

Today i recieved my report card, it was, well, really bad.....i was 24 out of 42. Others might say that it's not too bad already but i think i should have done better. I should have worked harder, slept less, done more exercise...there are many things that i should have done but didn't do....that's what most people life is about...they say "i should have done this and that" or "i shouldn't have done this and that" after something results from their actions and they regretted it or are not too happy about it. Why is human nature like this? They know what they should or shouldn't do but they just don't do what is right. They know they would regret it later but still they follow their impluse of the moment and sought to regret after that. Why, at many times, your heart tells you what is right but you just can't seem to obey it? *Sigh*
God, i am someone weak of heart, mind, and will. Please help me to do what is right, i mean really really do it, and not just think of doing it.....>_<

a rare post

2005-06-17T00:31:00.000+08:00

hehe....well, think my status is changing from 1 post a month to 1 post half a year. lol. oh well, nearly even forgot that there's such a place for me to blab and no one to stop me. hehe. Good thing they don close down inactive accounts. hmm.....recent updates, remember the last post about some interview for some kinda girls brigade award....hehe....i got it...hehe....YAY!!!!!!.....thanks be to god *grins* as for school update...school holidays jus over, exam papers are handed down....not too bad la....some improve but some going down hill...i hope that the overall result improves...although it's quite impossible la. Today was quite a cool day o, today carried out mouse dissection in bio class. lol. though was quite scary at first...didn't dare to touch it la...but once started, it was fun and interesting. Before starting, wear mask, gloves. first, had to drown the rat first, then put it in detergent, then pin it to the polystrene board. then skin the undersides of the rat then cut open trough the fleshy part. cool la...all the organs and stuff...though it smells la. hehe....and i thought i would feel nausea or what la after dissecting the rat...but not at all. the food after the dissection taste jus fine...hehe...and maybe even better..hahaha. it's really an experience to treasure.
anyway...that's all for now....hope the next time i blog will be soon enuf.....

A new year----2005

2005-01-01T22:41:00.000+08:00

wahahahaha....and here i am again!!!!!!
Happy New Year!!!!!!

busy hols

2004-12-13T08:55:00.000+08:00

i'm really.......sigh......only blog once a month.......
too busy maybe......
holidays o, should not be.....well, cos have christmas procession...
going to the dental afterwards then have an interview this after noon, for
some girls brigade award. i do hope i get it.....45 minutes, man, that's a long time
for an interview....god be with me....

at last a blog...lol

2004-11-05T13:19:00.000+08:00

i guess it's a long time since i last blogged...erm well...like...a month++ ago? lol....well, i'm getting complaints for not blogging...well sorry boss. u see, i'm blogging already. oh well, for the explanations first. Why no blogs for the past month. too busy i guess....and nothing to write....plus i have term exam coming up. So really sorry to those who keep coming to my blog and see nothing new...sorry. And now for the news update.....bad results...dropped 5 positions in class. My mummy is scolding me like hell...complaining that i don't work hard enuf...yada yada yada.....too bad, although these things are important to determine a good future but i don think it's the main thing in life. IT's how u live it, not how good ur results are. Anyway, that's how i take it to be, too bad it's not the same case with my mummy. No matter how, still i'd better work harder, for whose sake? not for myself, not for my family, not for anything...but for God. The only motivation i can think of to get myself work harder...lol....i'm a lazy brat

many many things to do

2004-09-28T22:14:00.000+08:00

have so many things not done yet.....wah.....where to start first? doubt if there will ever be a day that i don't have anything to do, namely schoolwork. urghh......feel so lazy......god....give me the will, plez, i need it, i do, i really really do......

silence is sometimes the best.....

2004-09-26T23:35:00.000+08:00

...........

tired, tired, tired

2004-09-26T20:07:00.000+08:00

so tired.......weary......sigh......

lausy week....

2004-09-01T20:30:00.000+08:00

after the hols.....
back to school again, have to face the results for the test i took two weeks before. i knew that it wouldn't look good, i had expected it, however, all the same it didn't help a bit when i really did get my results. It's bad, real bad, rotten actually, fail, fail evrything. I'm useless. I am sad and upset about it, to be exact, upset and angry with myself. I didn't do good enuf, i didn't study hard enuf, i didn't do enuf exercise, not enuf not enuf not enuf, i didn't do a thing that was to my satisfactory, and to my parents' satisfactory, that was enuf. *sigh* i know, no use crying over split milk right? but i can't help it. then why am i sitting here instead of trying to make up for my mistake? to study? to repair what is wrong to right? to do my homeworks? to do corrections? to do revisions? why why why? failure....really.....

nicks

2004-08-12T18:33:00.000+08:00

long time no blog....well, nothing intersting happening around my place. jus that ppl are calling me nicks again...not that it's anything new. been used to it.....to imagine that my very first nick was ignitiated by a teacher when i was still in primary 6....a teacher...my my. my nicks have grown over the years, ranging from fruits to drinks to names of all kinds in all types of languages. happy or not happy? upset or glad? well..i don know.... could say i've grown quite used to it already. i treat it as a way of ppl showing their affection to me.....well...that is a way of self-comforting, is it not?

ways of worship

2004-07-30T23:03:00.000+08:00

from psalms 138 1-3,8

1. give him praise of thanksgiving, lift up ur hands in praise, lift it up
    to feel his grace

2. sing out loud, not for us to hear but for the lord to hear and for
    everyone else everywhere

3. kneel in praise, have u ever tried to kneel down as u sing and
    praise? try it, you'll feel God touching ur heart :)

Note: It's not how u praise and worship that matters, but the state of
                    the heart and mind when doing it,
                               Amen.

praise and worship

2004-07-30T22:00:00.000+08:00

jus back from a praise and worship of stream of praise...it was great and superb....
give all ur burden to the lord and he will carry it for you..many times we say we gave him our troubles, but do we really? i mean, we still tend to worry all about it more or less. We have to put it down completely....

There was a boy, he saw these pretty pebbles while going for a stroll with his father. Liking these pebbles very much, he collected them and placed them in his pocket. As they walked, his pockets grew heavier...he grew tired. On seeing this, his father said to him, " Child, give me your pebbles, i'll carry them for u." The boy seem to consider this then he replied, " Father, what about u carry me and i'll carry my pebbles?"

this is the same as what we do today. the lord says " Child, let me carry ur burden for you." but what we do instead? like the boy? this is worth thinking....

Emmanuel

2004-07-21T18:24:00.000+08:00

from all the busy life, the sufferings, the trials, the pressure...all in all, i found myself tired, weary, convinced that i am no longer able to continue....where is god? i need him...why won't he come to my aid? broken, worn, i prayed for help, asking god to come to me, not to abandon me.. then it was like a reply, i was checking mail, a fren sent me a page, 'duty' it was called. nothing in mind, i clicked the link....then what i saw moved me. God was answering me. I cried hard. God, i understand, i'll guard the post...nothing will move me, i will be there when u come back for me. I know that u'll be looking after me, and by all the end of it, it'll be wonderful, to be back in ur embrace, saying, "child, you have been through so much, now come back to heaven and stay with me forever more, no more sufferings, no more trials, no more pressure...."

It might seem stupid to some of the ppl, some might laugh and even criticise me for this, but that is what i think, i'm holding on tight to my post, that is my believe, is my hope, my reason of living, and a motivation to live on.

http://http://www.donghaeng.net/english/duty.htm

I read a story once, a man was dreaming, he was walking with God by a beach. He looked back, he saw many parts of it, there were two sets of footprints and some parts of it, only one set of footprints could be seen. He relised that it was the hardest times of his life that the one set of footporints exist. He turned to god..."My Lord, didn't u say that u will be with me always? through good times and bad times? Why, when i am in my most difficult times that only i walk alone? Where were u when i needed u most?" God looked at him, silent for a while and replied gently, "my child, that was when i carried u on my back..." The man, stunned, started to sob....

When u think that God has left u, he has not, either he has something to teach u or u are on his back.....Emmanuel...

back to ol life

2004-07-10T20:05:00.000+08:00

back from bintulu and all the competition stuff, though we didn't win but it's a relief that it's at last and actually over. lots of homework and studies are waiting to be done. Antoher chemistry exam coming up. back to the normal busy mundane life....good or bad? don know...better study hard...i wan a good future but i feel lazy, hmmm.....

Life life life

2004-07-07T21:11:00.000+08:00

Been doing this blog for quite some time...i realise that i can't do it everytime. Maybe i'm just not too good at expressing myself. I do ask, maybe i should write this? or that? or...what? You see....my brain is stuck again....hmmm...hrm...um......well, sat for a maths test today, it was not too bad i think but don't know if i did well or not. Also got back my bio test paper, my score stinks. plus i'm going to Bintulu tomorrow for some competition, three days two nights, not bad actually but i'll be missing my class and tuition. And i'm sure that there'll be tons of homwork when i get back. quite boring huh, my life, but it's like that, can do nothing about it. oh no...just remembered something that i hadn't done yet....sigh....gotta go...

Dumb....

2004-07-04T10:07:00.000+08:00

I have a clear head today which is good cos i couldn't seem to get my brain to work a few days back. Why? well, let me start with a few days ago...It was like erm...Thursday night. I was completing some school work, English in fact. When i was done, i felt happy. I decided to take a rest. I gave a few little sideway skips towards my bed, then a leap to my bed...I guess i used to much energy, wrong estimation i called it, then instead of the soft pillow that i had expected to land on, my head met with the wall. Oh God, it was extremely painful :'( I fell with a thud. sigh, how stupid can i get? now i'm jus going to become more stupid. A bum of course swelled and my head started to spin. My eyes watered. stupid stupid stupid. What if there was internal bleeding then blood clot in my head? i thought to myself. what if there was side effect? but...i guess i was jus over worried cos i seem ok till today. Thank God. I've told my story to my ma and two frens and they say that who can be so stupid and laughed at me...well, who can be so stupid? Me, i guess. At least it doesn't pain now..right?

m' life

2004-06-26T07:50:00.000+08:00

my life is a bore...nothing interesting for me to talk about...everyday is the same, routine and boring. I think i'm getting quite sick of it. Nothing but study study study homework homework homework, argh....sometimes wish i could burn all my homework and my school if i could. seems so wicked but it's true. I appear to be playing all the time to others, they say that that i don't have any worries, cos i'm smiling and grinning and laughing all the time but how would they know that i'm not suffering as much as they are? Maybe even more than they are. I worry worry worry all the time but it doesn't mean that i have to report everything i think to others, does it? sigh....it's a Saturday and i should be staying home to do some revisions but i have to go to school instead to do some preparation for the competition stuff. I'm really falling behind in my studies. Wonder if it was right letting them pull me into this competition in the first place. well...look the time...really running late...they'll kill me for sure...

memory loss or just serious forgetfulness?

2004-06-16T18:19:00.000+08:00

i jus got to know something.....i recieved a call last night. What's so surprising or alarming about that? Well, the thing is i didn't know...to be exact, i don't remember(ah...lost that little part of my memory). What's happening to me? i can't even recall on recieving any call from anyone last night. What if it was something important? and i don even remember the call, not to mention what i replied or say to the person who called. I think i'm really on the brink of going nuts. My memory is deteriorating even faster than i think....and i'm jus barely 18. I won't mind if this is the first time.....to be truthful, this has been going on for quite some times already. I also keep on forgetting where i put things and the things that i should do. At times, i run from downstairs to upstairs, jus to forget what i wanted to do when i reach the top....i know this isn't genetics, so what is it?

school days are back

2004-06-15T18:13:00.000+08:00

school has started these few days. homeworks and revisions are piling in non-stop. Feel pretty sick these days about the life that i have to go through, don know why, jus have that heavy feeling on my chest. Don't even have the heart to study or do my homework. In class, i tried to listen....but....all i got was some stupid sleepiness that kept on bothering me. Don't know what's wrong. No matter how hard i tried, i can't seemed to concentrate. Maybe i've been holidaying for too long. what to do? i know if i don overcome this problem soon, i'll jus be left behind in class and i don wan that to happen cos my parents have high hopes on me(mum's been nagging). Pressure is starting to get to me....to think that this is jus the start of it(like...start of the term only?).....oh no!!!

so little time 4 so many things 2 do

2004-06-12T00:29:00.002+08:00

this morning i got up at 7 something...only 4 hours of sleep. Oh my gosh...didn't even know how i managed to reach school(stayed there the whole morning). Some more untyped work....good thing i didn't finish it too cos if i did it would mean that i wouldn't have gotten any sleep at all. I'm not the one to torture myself. Anyway...thank God for i was spared although i didn't finish my job. My last chance-finish it tonight. Then my whole afternoon was a blurr....didn't do the typing at the time cos my brother was nearly hysterical at me(claims that i was always using the comp, and caused him to miss him time with his computer games). So he kinda kicked me away then claimed his property. When it was evening, i went out with my father to listen to some evangalist preach gospel. Quite meaningful actually. Quoting from the bible verses and using them to tell ppl how to live in peace, especially how to live as a harmonious family and to gain everlasting love. Most of the verses were from the book of Ephesians(from the new testimone)-about how a husband should treat his wife vice versa; how parents should treat(discipline)their children vice versa; and etc etc etc...He even talked about how to get saved(eternal life in heaven)through christ. The first essential thing is to believe-that chirst died to save us etc and to have faith, to change over etc. By the time i reached home, it was already 10 something. So little time to do so much work. Well, enough blogging....better get on with my work now.

Dead tired...sleepy too

2004-06-11T02:23:00.000+08:00

It's now wee hours in the morning....been typing since the night before. I'm now extremely tired and exhaushted. Sore all over(thanks to my stupid lausy plastic chair) and my wrist hurts from all the non-stop typing(feels like as if it'll break off any moment now)...still got 14 more type of engineering jobs(the things that i have to type)to go. Not to mention that i keep on typing wrong words too. Getting annoyed. Should i go on or should i just go to sleep? A hard decision to make.....it's due by 830 later today. Hmm....go to sleep then wake up few hours later to finish off my typing? Would i be able to finish it in time if i do so? Even worst...would i be able to wake up if i go to slumber land? But then if i don't go to sleep...would i be typing through the night, not getting any sleep at all? Argghhh...(i'm really going nuts now)....eyelids are dropping...must keep awake...where is my coffee?....zzz....

Another day passed

2004-06-10T19:47:00.000+08:00

The end of another day....quite tired(and to think that i have to stay up all night to type some stuff for some competition-still lots to go...aiyo), with all the walking around the shopping mall and stuff. I don't quite like going out, prefer staying at home. So why did i go out, just walking around, not doing any shopping(not me anyway)? Sounds boring, but it was some kind of farewell for a friend who's going away tomorrow for futher studies. His girl friend said that she's happy that he's going away...but i doubt it because she kept on asking him if he'll miss her(and punched him whenever he said that he won't miss her). There were only the three of us and i felt like their light bulb. So i walked a little distance away. They had some secret sweet talk which they didn't want to reveal to me, making me curious. Anyway, they were quite an entertaining pair, both of them. We had some KFC, goggled at some pirated VCD's, bought a handphone cover and that was all. Gonna miss him, that guy. Wish i was as lucky, to be able to go out into the world and not stay here to do form six. God has his plans i guess, so God...i plea to u...let my future be a good one, a one i'll like(better pray hard).

First blog

2004-06-09T19:02:00.000+08:00

really....don't know what actually drove me to do this- to blog. I guess i just suddenly had the feeling of wanting to pour out my heart somewhere...and not the somewhere like writing on a piece of paper and being found by my family members. I had a thought- why do we live in this world? why do we strive for something? what is the purpose? what is the reason for living? we work, sleep, eat, laugh, have fun, then die? so where lies the purpose of my existence? Sometimes when i face troubles, have worries, i still have to put on a smiling face, be enthusiatic. It's as if i'm not myself anymore-fake. I socialise with poeple, but what are we thinking about each other? cursing under all the smiling faces? Fake world....all is so unreal...even myself. Don't think i know myself sometimes. How many me is there inside? Maybe i'm just tired of life? Forgive me God..but why did God make me? sigh....hope i will be over this 'down' feeling soon....